50 Things To Be Grateful For Since My Divorce

Divorce. I truly hate that word. It exudes nothing but negative connotations and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It spells failure and humiliation, and translates to nothing but a dismal summary of what was supposed to be your life’s greatest achievement. 

Having wallowed in my own self-pity for a period of time, wondering how on earth I didn’t see the signs, I was faced with the prospect of living a life of my own volition. Hindsight is a beautiful thing and I never thought about the little things I would and should be grateful for, post-divorce. I continue to discover things I take for granted, but I have a long list which allows me to wake up in the morning with continued gusto and a passion for my new independent life. Here are 50 things I am ever so grateful for:

1. I am a better parent. I thought I was a good parent, but now I hold every moment with dear life. Losing my daughter for 2 days a week to her father makes me appreciate the time I do have with her.
2. I get to be the kind of parent I wish to be – all of the time.
3. I have a greater respect for the sanctity of marriage. In my case, I didn’t have a choice in the matter as the grass was simply greener on the other side for him, but it has allowed me to really understand what marriage is about.
4. I know who my friends truly are and luckily for me, I wasn’t disappointed.
5. I am more resilient now than I ever was before. I still wonder how I got through it all.
6. I became a writer of children’s picture books about divorce. I am enjoying this new chapter of my life tremendously!
7. I started blogging! Something I have always wanted to do as I formalised my creative outlet. Essentially, I am living a dream I have had for some time.
8. I am grateful for my tenacity.
9. I am grateful for my own self-respect.
10. I am grateful for my vanity and my ability to get back on the dating scene at 40!
11. I had forgotten what it meant to be blissfully happy.
12. I love being able to make decisions on my own again without consulting anyone else.
13. Being able to be spontaneous without ramifications.
14. Doing things my way!
15. Ridding of an unhappy home and moving into my very own place.
16. Stopped being the brunt of broken promises.
17. Stopped being ignored. 
18. Not cleaning up someone else’s mess.
19. Not being angry anymore.
20. Not arguing and fighting on a regular basis.
21. Being free of family obligations.
22. I am grateful that I no longer feel invisible to the most important man in my life.
23. I am grateful I don’t have to wonder how I was going to survive an unhappy marriage for the next 40 years of my life.
24. I stopped, breathed and moved on.
25. I learned that there is always a way forward and that I was filled with so much drive I propelled myself with amazing strength.
26. I know exactly what I do and don’t want from future relationships.
27. Embracing a diverse family unit.
28. I know I am never truly alone and I have filled my life with amazing friendships.
29. I am grateful that my principles, values and morals have not wavered but strengthened through these difficult times.
30. Silver linings became clearer.
31. I am grateful my divorce was fairly amicable and was not ugly.
32. I am even more determined to live and experience life.
33. It has made me travel more and I want to see the world through my daughter’s eyes.
34. I found more time to place more importance on the little things.
35. I stopped taking any relationships for granted.
36. I have learned that I cannot change and I should stop expecting myself to.
37. I have learned to stop accepting anything less than my expectations.
38. It’s ok to cry often and I am grateful I can, and do.
39. I listen to my daughter a lot more and I learned to read between the lines.
40. I hug, kiss and love my daughter infinitely more than I ever did. I am bordering on smothering but hey, she’s just going to have to live with it!
41. I am enjoying my two free nights a week and fulfilling them constantly.
42. I have time for my physical self and am back at the gym.
43. More open to trying new things when I couldn’t in the past.
44. I am grateful that my daughter never has to live a life where her parents slept in separate rooms.
45. I am glad my daughter never saw how unhappy I was in my marriage and thought that’s what marriage is supposed to be like.
46. I am ever so proud of myself for being able to look after a family and am grateful that I am able to emotionally.
47. I found the love of my life and I now know what it means to be truly loved.
48. The ability to show my daughter what it means to be in a loving relationship and not one of absence but total presence.
49. My daughter now has a step parent who loves her more than himself.
50. Lastly, I am most grateful for being able to give love and receive love, every minute of the day.

Divorce is difficult and will continue to be so for quite some time, but out of this life challenge it also brings about outcomes you may not have thought possible. Learn to embrace the positives so that it may outweigh the tumultuous times. Do yourself a favour and live your new found life!

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