Everyone who has been badly hurt as a result of going through a divorce has at one point decided to swear off from dating forever. Many women, and men for that matter, claim that they don’t want another relationship after divorce. However, it’s okay to move on and have sex, as well as have meaningful relationships with someone else. When taking that leap, here are some things to think about:
- Avoid getting back and having sex with your ex. If this is a person who you can no longer be married to, why would you ever go back just so you can get some? It’s not helping you with the divorce and it’s not helping the kids, if there are any. When you hook up with an ex, it inevitably causes confusion. Sometimes the sex is just sex, it doesn’t mean anything. If you start seeing your ex again, you will find that the children will be just as confused. They may have false hope of you and your former spouse getting back together, which can have devastating effects.
- When considering having sex again after divorce, ask yourself why. Do you just feel lonely, is it a hormone thing, or do you really care about the other person? If it is more than just loneliness or hormones and you truly care about this other person, then you will probably be more inclined to talk about the sex before taking the leap. You want to make sure that this is not something that will cause you immediate hurt. Love has risks, but you want to make sure that you don’t turn your back and find out that everything was a lie. You don’t want to be taken advantage of. You need to make sure that you are not in the relationship to hide who you really are or to keep a safe distance from love. You do not want to be with someone who you don’t care about so you know that your heart doesn’t get broken.
- Make sure that you are ready for sex and are acting responsibly. Take the proper precautions, not only with your feelings, but with your health. You need to make sure that you use protection from STD’S and pregnancy.
- Keep in mind is that each person is different. It’s not worth thinking about how they might hurt you because that’s what other men did in the past. Give this other person the benefit of the doubt. His intentions might very well be honorable if you are willing to give him an honest chance. If you make your present interest suffer because of what happened in past relationships you are condemning the relationship from the start. It’s okay to trust again and to love again. There are risks, but that’s the thing about love. It’s worth the risks.
When you are truly ready to move onto another relationship, erase your own slate. Don’t bring up your past a lot. Don’t compare your actions with them to how you were with others. If things are right they will work out. Don’t look at your life as a system. Love is one of the most mysterious feelings. It’s hard to describe it, and it’s hard to tell why things happen. You never know when you are going to fall in love and fall out of love. If you take things slow and let things take their own course, you will find that love will find you. You will be very happy.
Don’t let your divorce hold you back from experiencing an amazingly joyful and fulfilling relationship with someone special.
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