The issue isn’t women extorting child support from men, the issue is angry men who allow their negative emotions to cause them to forget their responsibility to their children.
There are a lot of men who consider themselves victims of an unjust system because they are ordered to support the children they chose to have. They view child support as “extortion” instead of taking care of their responsibilities to their children. Some men hate paying child support!
Below is a comment I read on an article about child support and my thoughts on this father’s argument that he and other men are the victims of “legalized extortion,” via a child support order.
Child Support and Angry Fathers
“Your post assumes the dad or parent did the leaving and made the choice not to pay. What if this scenario transpired: the dad was kicked out, willingly gave up his rights to all property and assets, paid his entire paycheck to the ex, only to end up losing his job and getting kicked to the curb after working very hard on the marriage and giving up everything for 5 years.
His ex can now go down to the state offices, lie about how much he earns and an order is immediately set in place charging him thousands he cannot pay. He’s unemployed, remember? He seeks a modification; this process takes two years to go through, the end of which the amount is not backdated so he still owes back child support based on an amount he never, ever earned.
Even had he earned the amount, the amount taken out of his check would leave him with well under a thousand dollars a month to live on. If he remarries, the ex can go after his new wife’s income for her child support, and yet he doesn’t get to credit his ex’s new husband’s very substantial income in his favor.
His children are all in school, his ex is a certified dental hygienist and, even working part-time while the kids are in school, could make significant money ‘in the best interests of the kids.’ Instead, she chooses to extort it from a man who works tirelessly seeking work.
He gave it all to try to make it work and he cannot possibly hope to have a life…EVER. This legalized extorting is unjust in the extreme, does not benefit the children at all, and only benefits the unethical woman.
And, while this is only one example, it is a commonly occurring for many good and decent men who never wanted a divorce in the first place. It was NEVER their “choice”. Instead, men often end up paying with their lives for someone else’s choice. On what planet is any of that even remotely fair?”
Distortion, Not Extortion of Child Support
The above comment is nothing more than a distortion of the truth. As someone who has worked as an expert in the field of divorce for over thirteen years, I can spot a twisted tale and that is what we have here…a twisted tale.
This man wants us to believe he was adversely affected by the Family Court System. In order for us to believe such a thing, he has to either leave out details of his story or embellish the story with a few untruths.
Let’s take his comment point by point and break it down and attempt to shed some light on what more than likely actually happened.
Oh What a Tangled Web We Weave
He asserts that he was kicked out by his wife, gave up all property and assets and gave her his entire paycheck.
If this is true he did so of his own free will. If he chose to give everything in an attempt to save the marriage no one extorted anything from him. And if he made this choice he did himself no favors because he had the option of protecting his legal rights from the moment his wife kicked him out and asked for a divorce.
According to him, his ex can now go down to the state child support enforcement office, lie about how much he earns and an order is immediately set in place charging him thousands he cannot pay.
Sorry but that isn’t the way it works. State Child Support Enforcement Offices DO NOT base child support on what a spouse says the parent made. These offices use the Department of Motor Vehicles or The Federal Parent Locator Service to attempt to locate the non-paying parent.
If that parent can’t be located to verify income, they will impute an income into their system based on the last job the parent had and the earnings at that time. The commenter’s wife didn’t lie to child support enforcement. What happened is, she reported him for non-payment of child support, he had disappeared and when they could not find him they imputed an income for him.
” He seeks a modification; this process takes two years to go through, the end of which the amount is not backdated so he still owes back child support based on an amount he never, ever earned.”
Yes, if you wait until the State’s Child Support Enforcement Agency gets your case you can experience a long, drawn-out battle when trying to modify child support. If the commenter had gone to court when he lost his job instead of stopping paying child support and forcing his ex-wife to use the child support enforcement agency he would not have ended up in such a battle.
He failed to protect himself by using the court the moment he became unemployed and is now angry with the system that was put in place to protect him. It is a convoluted thought process that I see often. He did what many are guilty of doing. He lost his job, stopped paying, ended up on the state’s registry and now is angry, angry, angry at others instead of himself for failing to take the proper legal steps he should have taken in the first place.
” If he remarries, the ex can go after his new wife’s income for her child support, and yet he doesn’t get to credit his ex’s new husband’s very substantial income in his favor. “
Not even close to the reality of the situation. A new spouse cannot be held financially responsible for the support of any offspring other than their own. An ex can NEVER go after the new spouse’s income to pay child support. That is the law folks.
On the other hand, if his new wife commingles her money with his money that money can be garnished to pay back child support that is owed. For example, if there is a bank account in both his name and her name the state can take money from the account. She can stop the state from taking money that she earned by filing a “Notice of Exemption” with the state. His new wife’s income WILL NOT be impacted by the money he owes for child support arrears if she takes proper steps to keep that from happening.
” His children are all in school, his ex is a certified dental hygienist and, even working part-time while the kids are in school, could make significant money ‘in the best interests of the kids.’ Instead, she chooses to extort it from a man who works tirelessly seeking work.”
This statement makes no sense. It is irrelevant whether or not the mother makes enough money on her own to support her and the children. Her ability to earn doesn’t take away his legal and moral responsibility to pay child support. His opinion is that since his ex wife expects him to help financially care for HIS children she is trying to extort money from him.
I would like to ask him if he would be willing to take on the responsibility alone if he had substantial income and his ex-wife was refusing to help him support the children? One has to wonder how any parent, mother or father gets to the point of believing they should have no financial responsibility just because the other parent “makes enough money.”
” It is commonly occurring for many good and decent men who never wanted a divorce in the first place. It was NEVER their “choice”.
I’m sorry but “good and decent men” don’t whine about paying child support. Good and decent men use common sense when dealing with problems such as a job loss and child support.
Good and decent men do not hide from a state agency that is looking for them due to child support arrearages.
Good and decent men don’t blame others for mistakes they make, and this commenter made the mistake of not utilizing the Family Court System to his best advantage and now wants to blame everyone but himself for the position he is in.
By doing so he is doing himself no favor, not to mention what his actions have done to his children.
The Real Issue with Men Who Don’t Want to Pay Child Support
Men are pissed. They had a marriage, kids, and a somewhat stable lifestyle. For them, that was good enough. For their wives, not so much. The wife asks for a divorce, the husband becomes angry as hell. How dare she mess with the good thing HE had going.
She “nagged” for years trying to change the dynamics of the relationship. Her “nagging” fell on deaf ears. He dismissed her need for something more and ended up on the receiving end of a divorce.
Along with the final divorce decree came an order for child support. That meant the angry ex husband has to give the ex wife a monthly check. Men who feel like they’ve had the rug pulled out from under them, their entire lives turned upside down just because their wives had to have a divorce RESENT the hell out of having to give her a monthly child support check.
How many times have you heard a divorced man say, “Why should I support her lifestyle?” “I shouldn’t have to give her my money?”
They can’t separate the anger at their ex wives from their financial responsibility to their children. These men who withhold child support do so to punish the ex who left them and, they do it with no regard for the fact that it’s their children who are being punished. They don’t care or don’t think about the fact that their children are collateral damage.
The issue isn’t women extorting child support from men, the issue is angry men who allow their negative emotions to cause them to forget their responsibility to their children. The big issue is, women and children are suffering because some men feel entitled to batter them financially by withholding not only money but, love, respect, and deference.
shame on you. you untangle this guy’s twisted tale, and then follow up with your own severe distortions of the reality of divorce. you are no better than he is.
“Men are pissed. They had a marriage, kids, and a somewhat stable lifestyle. For them, that was good enough. For their wives, not so much. The wife asks for a divorce, the husband becomes angry as hell. How dare she mess with the good thing HE had going.”
first, we have no-fault divorce in every state. no one asks for divorce; they simply retain a lawyer (in secret), and file.
second, the party filing has known for quite some time what she was doing, before filing; the other party (most often the husband) usually has NO IDEA what she is intending. he thought he had a partner in life, and the one person he thought he could trust and rely on stabs him in the back. that is far worse than, for example, discovering that she cheated on you. you learn you were deceived and that she is blithely throwing your life in the garbage disposal because marriage takes work and is not the happy easy fairytale she has been told not only to expect, but that is her right and that she deserves.
“She “nagged” for years trying to change the dynamics of the relationship. Her “nagging” fell on deaf ears. He dismissed her need for something more and ended up on the receiving end of a divorce.”
she complained and did not do her part to make things work for years, and lived in denial of reality. marriage takes constant effort on both parts to succeed, and she could not or would not put in the effort. so she blames him and demands he change. he tries, to please her, and she’s still unhappy, so of course it MUST be HIS fault that she’s unhappy.
“Along with the final divorce decree came an order for child support. That meant the angry ex husband has to give the ex wife a monthly check. Men who feel like they’ve had the rug pulled out from under them, their entire lives turned upside down just because their wives had to have a divorce RESENT the hell out of having to give her a monthly child support check.”
you skirt around the issue with this allegation: “child” support does not actually support the child. that is the underlying rationale, but it’s a fig leaf to hide the actual structure: no money is ever paid to the child. there is no requirement that any money that is supposedly to help the child, even a single penny, is ever actually spent on the child. the reality is that what was once a two income household is now two single income households, and both should see their standard of living fall due to that circumstance. everyone is worse off, due to her decision that he must be to blame for her unhappiness. including his child. and then she garnishes his income, and his child STILL has the lower standard of living. paying child support does not rescue his child from this problem.
“They can’t separate the anger at their ex wives from their financial responsibility to their children. These men who withhold child support do so to punish the ex who left them and, they do it with no regard for the fact that it’s their children who are being punished. They don’t care or don’t think about the fact that their children are collateral damage.”
another big lie. the reason that men are angry is that a huge part of their identity as dads has just been ripped away. they are no longer parents raising children in the eyes of the law. they don’t get to see their own children anymore. they would happily raise their own children by themselves, WITHOUT garnishing their ex’s income, if they could simply go back to being dads raising their own children. but we’ve had our families, our identity as dads, and our relationships with our own children, destroyed by her whim. THAT is what they are angry about.
“The issue isn’t women extorting child support from men, the issue is angry men who allow their negative emotions to cause them to forget their responsibility to their children. The big issue is, women and children are suffering because some men feel entitled to batter them financially by withholding not only money but, love, respect, and deference.”
another big lie. the real issue is that the entire family court system is set up to destroy families and foment conflict, because by design it is a winner-take-all system. whomever files first, has the advantage and will usually end up winning the children AND an income stream from the ex. the fundamental problem is that we incentivize both filing for divorce and filing for custody.
everyone – men, women, and children – is suffering because the wife was unhappy, decided her husband must be the reason, and turned over their children’s lives to the court system to fight for the outcome she wanted – her life exactly the same, same family, same children, same two incomes, except HE is removed. because she thinks it is her RIGHT and she DESERVES it. she, who broke up the family, is the one who didn’t care or didn’t think about the fact that their children would suffer the collateral damage.
if you ever hear another man complaining about child support, ask him directly: would you take you own children back and raise them yourself, if you could not get child support from their mother? i expect at least 95% would answer YES! without hesitating.
What if you flip that scenario in reverse? This is not so much men vs women but decent people vs indecent ones. Wife raises children at husbands request. He makes way more then her anyway. He abuses her and cheats on her for years but she stays to keep the family intact. He goes behind her back, files for divorce, takes all their money and insists she be the one to move out as their home was rented from his parents. She stays and fights for a while while the abuse rises. She can’t sleep at night, can’t focus and feels alienated from her own home. She is also working part time. She has enough and leaves moving in with the only person she has, her mom, 30 minutes away. He drags divorce out for two years costing thousands of dollars. Walks away with no alimony, minimum child support and everything they owned. Child also has to stay in his school district so mom now has to drive 35 minutes both ways twice a day on days off to get him to school. Forcing her to work farther away from home then she would like just to make this arrangement work. Moms car has over 200k miles on it and her credit is so poor from the divorce debt that she can’t get another car right now. Dad intrudes on her personal life, insults her, swears at her, blames and name calls. Nobody does anything to help. He makes 4 times the income she does because while she was raising their children he was advancing her career. He didn’t like that she wasn’t around to take care of things when it was her turn to advance the career she put on hold.
It is not only men who get the shaft! Women, particularly victims of domestic violence, are getting it in court regularly.
Just another version of how this could go.
Hi, Loglyn. It isn’t a men vs. women thing but it is men turning it into a men vs. women thing. They don’t want to hear that the court can be as unfair to women as they can be to men. We have a private Facebook group for divorced women with a membership of over 2,000. Ninety percent of those women are suffering some form of the story you told. They’ve been left after 35 years of marriage for a younger woman…left financially destitute. Or, they are using child support enforcement to attempt to get back child support. Many, many of them are raising children with no child support on their own because Dad took a hike and is no where to be found. If you tell men these stories, you know what they say? “She must have done something to deserve it.” She must have been a b*tch to live with.” “Dad must have abandoned his kids because he couldn’t stand having to deal with Mom.” They always have a reason that everything is the woman’s fault. The MMR’s of the world aren’t pissed at paying child support, or being left and divorced. They, bottom line, hate women. Women can’t do anything in their eyes accept bad. I stopped trying to have a civil discussion with them a long time ago.
AMEN! It’s like trying to nail Jell-O to the wall trying to have a discussion with MMR’s in anything related to their precious penny’s… children are always the collateral damage and no one cares. That is why we now have over $116 BILLION in child support arrears owed in this nation.
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I was in a relationship with a cheater, and I realize that I should have never been with her. We go back and forth for years and then she’s pregnant. She was still on the same stuf and as I encountered her about it she decided to move out into her sisters place. Now I’m in child support and I’ve lost jobs and built debts, including child support. I’ve had a particular PTSD type of rage when I’m having issues with her mom about some stuff….like a debt that’s associated with my daughter outside child support. I absolutely die from burning rage inside because a part of me knows I should have never even been with her. I have no one to talk to ever and I just can’t live like this sometimes. I am torn because I want to be a better father but I also can’t deal with someone else in this particular situation of debt. I should not be in this situation, but I am because I did not have the wisdom to leave her alone back then. Now tramway and rage, emasculation follows me and I just don’t want to live like this anymore.
I can’t stand women like you
@FCC, you just proved every point she made in the article. You got left, you got pissed, you don’t like having to pay child support. Goodness, dude, try harder next time.
I concur. Your reply is point-on.
Apparently neither one of you actually read what I wrote. Or, you are for whatever reason not allowing yourselves to understand it.
Calling out the original man in the article about the points that he got wrong (intentionally or accidentally) was fine and appropriate. Spreading lies thereafter was not.
“Goodness, dude, try harder next time.” It doesn’t matter how “hard” I “try.” Your resistance to the real world of facts is demonstrated to be quite impenetrable.
In real life, what non-custodial parents are most distressed by is being erased from their own children’s lives. But that’s not a convenient thing for some people to admit, so you try to make it about the money.
Continue to mock your bogeyman, as it clearly makes you feel better to do so. It won’t make anyone’s children’s lives any better, but you are clearly concerned only with trying to find someone (other than yourselves) to fix blame on, and not with how your actions affect the children.
These women who withhold children on the other parent’s custody time do so to punish the ex whom they left, they do it with no regard for the fact that it’s their children who are being punished. They don’t care or don’t think about the fact that their children are collateral damage.
FCC, I’m a divorce lawyer. Have been for over 25 years. I’ve handled divorces for both genders. I’m not mocking anyone and am certainly viewing it from a real world view. Less than 1% of divorce cases involve any kind of parental alienation by mothers or fathers. And, this is an article about child support, not parental alienation so you got a bit off-track didn’t you? When I first started working in the divorce industry I dreaded working with women because I thought they would be whining, conflict stirrers. I was proven wrong, It is the men who whine, stir up conflict and act like 2-year-olds when faced with having to pay child support. During my career I’ve handled 2 cases that involved parental alienation. In both of those cases it was the father who attempted to alienate the child from the mother. So, from my professional point of view, it isn’t “these women,” who cause conflict and resentment during divorce it’s you men. My advice to you…if you aren’t able to see your children, get an attorney and take her to court for parental interference.
Sounds like you have very few cases or practice in a rabbit hole…….
Jodi, not in a rabbit hole. In Seattle in a firm with 12 other attorneys. Handle an average of 65-75 cases a year. What do you do with your time that makes you such an expert on my knowledge or lack, thereof as you are insinuating?
Had to chime in from a breadwinner mom’s perspective. It’s just as frustrating as it is for many Dads and I found the original article offensive. My husband refused to get a job and contribute to our family financially for years (all the jobs he could get were “beneath him”). So, I made the disastrous decision to allow him to handle most of our children’s activities during the work hours. I have been juggling the bills, college and retirement savings, doing half of the home and child work in the evenings and weekends, all while working a stressful job in a male-dominated field. And making every teacher conference, game, recital, etc. for our two school-age children. Now, he has decided that he wants a divorce. My ideal scenario is that he would thank me for letting him freeload for so many years and enabling him to spend so much time with the kids, then he would get a job and move on. I would happily raise the kids myself and pay for everything for them. But that is of course not how the courts work. I am now frozen in my position as the breadwinner, now supporting two households – he will get half of our assets and get a massive portion of my paycheck as child support. He is so excited about being able to spend this money without my interference – he has already bought a new motorcycle! This child support money will, without a doubt, be spent on his hobbies and allow him to continue to be unemployed or work part time. I am crushed. It’s hard enough being a woman in the workforce. I feel like I have been penalized for years of patience and sacrifice and taking on a sole breadwinner role i didn’t want. I will still be responsible for college, medical and everything else for the kids, as he has trouble with money management, and I no longer have any level of secure retirement funding. At least he isn’t fighting split custody. I am not sure i could survive if that were not the case. Of course, why would he? In Texas, you get the same amount of child support no matter how much you have the kids.
If you didn’t want the breadwinner role, you shouldn’t have taken it on. It was your choice, you weren’t forced into it. You were married to a lazy, worthless man and chose to stay. You chose to be a doormat in your marriage. What the hell did you think would be your reward for that? People who play the martyr rarely have a good outcome from all that martyrdom. I’ve read a lot of negative comments from low-rent men about having to pay child support but I think your’s is the worst to date. You’re no different than any bread-winning man so stop the whining, buckle up and take care of your responsibilities. And, next time around, marry a man who can carry his weight financially.
I have two minor children, whom I am raising at home with my wife (their mother). I do not owe or have to pay support to anyone, nor does anyone pay us support. None of us are stuck in litigation, for custody or support or anything else.
Thanks for playing.
Playing? You don’t even have a dog in the fight yet, you believe it is your job to spread untruths? That isn’t playing, that is childish. Why don’t you get off the computer and spend some quality time with your wife and children instead of spouting off online about a subject you know nothing about?
This article is just laughable and not even CLOSE to reality. I’ve personally watched at least a dozen friends/family members have their children snatched out from under them while being turned into part time visitors and a weekly check. I’ve personally seen incorrect income used in child support calculations. I’ve seen restraining orders used to alienate parents with no evidence. You are basing your opinions on what SHOULD happen in a fair court decision, not what actually IS happening across America. Custodial parents are making the unilateral decision to take another parent from a child using the courts and financial hardships. It is a violation of these childrens’ rights.
Anmom, I didn’t base the article on what SHOULD happen. I based it on what DOES happen and it is based on nearly 14 years of work in the divorce industry. I’ve worked with attorneys, divorcing clients, clients in the middle of custody battles in a professional manner. It isn’t only my opinion, it is reality that I’ve been witness to.
Learn the system fight back I did.
let’s see if this makes the post…..lol
Guys listen and learn.
My ex cheated with the Paint guy at Lowe’s we divorced she made much more money the I?did so I maximumized my parenting time. She quit her job because someone told her she could and get me to pay child supoort after she got remarried. I imputed her high income because it was a voluntary quit and deemed her husband’s income as well……Yes you can do that guys if she depends on his income for the household I pay no child support and she is pissed……… Us the system fight back.
Amanda, I read this same thing on Reddit one day. Except she didn’t cheat with the paint guy at Lowe’s, she cheated with her boss. Do you guys send out talking points to each other or something? First off, unless you live under a rock anyone knows that voluntarily quitting a job doesn’t mean you receive more child support or pay less child support. Secondly, you didn’t compute an income for her. You don’t have the authority to do that, only a judge or child support enforcement does. Third, there isn’t a state in the country that will take into account a new spouse’s income when computing child support regardless of how dependent she is on his income. You aren’t doing other men any favors by spreading lies. All your doing is costing them money in attorney feels and court cost to engage in a battle they can’t win. It’s astounding out far you guys will go to make a woman look bad. And, in the end you just end up making yourselves look like fools.
No, didn’t know about the Reddit yes you can and I Did, and sorry you are right, the judge imputed her income not me and yes child support was not ordered. I prefer to pay for my child when he is around.
To our resident legal expert Amanda.
https://www.divorcenet.com/resources/remarriage-and-child-support-indiana.html
Whats wrong Amanda? Cat have your tongue? Oh wait, someone challenged your BS. Right. I guess our resident legal expert doesn’t care to comment anymore.
Nope, cat didn’t get my tongue. I was on a transatlantic flight. Is that OK with you? From the link you posted, “Essentially, the money that the husband contributed to the mother’s living expenses.” A new spouse’s income is not considered when computing child support. How that income impacts a mother’s expenses is considered. Since she has remarried is she having to pay rent or mortgage or is that coming out of her husband’s income? Is she having to buy groceries or is that coming out of her husband’s income? You can’t “deem” her husband’s income but, you can use the fact that she is remarried to show she has less financial obligations than she did beforehand. Her husband’s income is HIS income, not HER income and it’s against Federal Law to make one man responsible for the care of another man’s children. I think it funny that you believe another man and his income should reduce your financial obligation to your children. Funny and sad.
My issue is not only with my ex but my own attorney who refused to allow me to file for child support for our adult disabled son who has been deemed disabled since before he was 15. My ex has washed his hands too of his son, hasn’t called him, wished him happy birthday’s and hasn’t given me a dime of money to help him. Now. I have had to file a complaint with the State Bar where I live to try and get this issue … among others .. resolved. It just breaks my heart that my ex doesn’t have a heart.
A complaint with the state bar won’t resolve the issue. You need to get a new lawyer and petition the courts for child support. Only a judge can award child support. A court can’t order him to love his child but it can order him to be financially responsible.
Can is a big word. It depends on the state and jurisdiction. Some allow child support after the child turns 19. I must say that is a pretty shitty thing to do to a disabled child.
What our resident legal expert who is assuming facts not introduced into evidence is that your attorney could be doing you a favor. If you go after child support instead of granting your son emancipation is a situation that his father’s support is counted against any government program such as SSI which will pay more then you can even hope to get out of him. So, go talk to another attorney and unless the father is wealthy it might be in your son’s better interest to apply for assistance or SSI.
I know I’m pretty late to the party but I wanted to chime in with my story. My ex got pregnant and I was not ready to have a child, I encouraged her to abort the child but she disagreed and broke up with me. Fast forward 9 months and I now have a son I never wanted, but am trying to warm up to. I try to establish contact with him but my ex denies it and so I Start a court process which takes 6 months before i even get a visitation schedule of 2 hours a week… And then the child support starts. I end up negotiation down to 75 a week, which was more than half his expenses, despite us making comparable incomes. This later gets raised to 156 a week as does my custody to one day a week. Retroactive back pay all of a sudden causes me to be 3200 in debt. She remarries 2 months after that change, but guess what happens to the child support now that her household is making twice as much? Absolutely nothing. I end up not being able to afford the C.S., leave my job to go back to school in hopes of getting some long overdue health care and a better job down the road. Now that C.S. isn’t being paid, DHHS starts coming after me: Revoked my license, froze my bank account, stole 1200 from my account I had saved for rent, and threatened to jail me.
Men don’t want to pay child support because it’s a load of crap. What is my ex going to do with the now 6500 i owe in back pay? My kid is healthy, happy, and clothed. I need a roof over my head just as much as he does. What kid costs 300+ a week, the amount that my state has deemed necessary for survival.
The back pay is absolutely criminal, I literally cannot afford anything, including my own necessary resources, and on top of that I’ve got DHHS stealing money from me, overdrawing my bank account causing me to go further into debt, and attaching fees to get my license and car title back. I don’t see how any of that is productive or conducive for a happy family. I just don’t get it.
I sign over my rights soon, which is what she always wanted, in exchange for cessation of child support payments. How sad that states can use financial burdens to ruin a man’s life.
It is not as simple as child support is GOOD and men are BAD. What if two parents are equally responsible, and perhaps the MAN is just a tad bit more emotional and empathetic to his kids. And they agree to a friendly collaborative divorce. And at the end of months of negotiations, the wife decides she no longer wants to cooperate, she wants the DIVORCE PACKAGE? So many men have no choice when it comes to the law. In my state, TEXAS, I was handed the sad news by both my soon-to-be-ex and our parenting plan coach, that I was going to get the 70/30 non-custodial role and there was little I could do about it. The mother of our children enacted a flawless coup de grat. She continues to this day, 11-years, and $200,000+ later, to accost me when attempt to communicate with her about our kids. (both now away in college) She executed me with the support of Texas and the enforcement of the AG’s office. She knew exactly what she was doing. I had no chance but to comply and be the best co-parent and absent father I could be.
I would 100% accept full custody of my kids and wouldn’t take a penny from my ex. It’s not worth the animosity or resentment. Plus, I have the self-esteem of supporting myself and my children, without being on the charity dole.
Maybe we should just cancel each other out!! Much of this is a circular argument and nobody wins.
My ex intentionally underworks herself (she’s a physician) because she can count on a substantial paycheck from me every month. Like others have said, I’d gladly accept 100% custody and not request a dime from my ex. Child support only furthers animosity between parents.