I have been really awed and happy to see how many people (many, many of them single moms) who came together to help DivorcedMoms blogger Pauline Gaines in her quest to raise $5000 for attorney fees for an emergency custody hearing. All of last weekend I was glued to her Gofundme page to see if she was going to make it.
When she hit $5000 I jumped straight up and shouted at the top of my lungs.
I know that it was hard for her to ask for help. We are all workers, trying to support our kids on much less money than we had when we were married. It’s hard. I imagine that few of us ever ask for help from anyone.
We are proud, we are finding our power after divorce, we are determined to make it.
We are warrior goddesses protecting our babies.
I make sure my kids have what they need, but I myself, well, I am blogging on a laptop held together with duct tape and have a hole in my Eileen Fisher shirt that I wore to work that I spent all day trying to cover with my cardi. I will do it again too, because quite a few of my work clothes have seen better days and I can no longer afford Eileen Fisher. Even Target is out of my current price range.
It made me really proud to see how people rallied to help Pauline.
Because bad exes can bully us one at a time, but when we band together to help each other, they need to gird their loins. En masse, bullies beware.
Al made a quip about the Pursebrick Mafia.
Of course, he is Italian and has an uncle that he calls in times of trouble. He always asks me when I’ve been horribly mistreated, “Should I call Uncle Sonny?”
I always say yes.
Seriously though, how wonderful to have a network of people, most that we have never even met face to face, that are so supportive and understanding of the struggles we all go through during divorce.
People ask me sometimes why I blog and tell all of my business. Well, it is cathartic for me to vent my shit, but more than anything, I want to be a place where other women going through it can find my story and know that there is life on the other side. When I was in the emotional hell hole of ending my marriage, I was searching the internet daily trying to find bloggers and people that were sharing their story. I needed to know I wasn’t alone, and in my social group at the time, I was the only one on the road to divorce.
As verbal as I am, I would have anticipated that while going through divorce, I would have told everyone with ears my story. I actually did the opposite and turned into myself. I didn’t tell anyone. It was too painful to say out loud. Most of my friends were surprised when I told them we were separating. I just couldn’t put it out into the air with my lips. Instead I sat with my laptop (pre-duct tape) and found divorced women who were telling their stories online. One of them was Pauline. After my divorce was final I started blogging on my own.
In the 2+ years that I’ve been Cuckoo Momma, I’ve received many, many beautiful emails and comments from women (even men) thanking me for putting my story out there. I have so many friends now, out there in cyberland, who I know are out there pulling for me. Can cyber friends be real? Hell yes, just ask Pauline.
Bullies beware, alone we are one, but together we are mighty.
And informed. And we have pursebricks.
Pauline Gaines says
This made me tear up, CuckooMomma. I am still trying to wrap my mind around the incredible outpouring support, even from women currently going through legal crap. I agree with you — the Internet is a powerful community when used for good. I am honored to have you as one of my homies.
Liv BySurprise says
I was glued to the screen too! I am also incredibly inspired by both you and Pauline, and hopefully an honorary member of the purse brick mafia? I’m thinking we need t-shirts.
Cuckoo Mamma says
Mary Helen K says
My divorce was final in March and we are bird’s nesting. I have an apartment and he stays in the house. I stay at the house when he is working nights. There are days that I feel utterly alone and displaced. Your blog makes me feel less crazy. Thank you.
Cuckoo Mamma says
Oh I’m so glad it’s helpful. I think the kids have done great with this but it is hard on the adults. I’m always packing . Take care and keep me posted.