The name “Prince Charming,” as my boss has dubbed my soon to be ex husband, is not only perfect sarcasm but also fitting as to where our family was when I officially discovered that he was leading a double life for over two years.
We were on our last day of vacation in Disney World, technically the home of “Prince Charming,” when due to my high level of suspicion over Prince Charming’s erratic behavior so, I checked his phone. Once he was deeply asleep I took his thumb and put it on his iPhone to access his text messages.
I saw three text messages that crushed me and damn near killed me, in Disney World of all places, with my children sleeping in the next bed over from me.
TEXT 1: The other woman: “I know you can’t respond right now baby. I love you.”
TEXT 2: The other woman’s sister: “You better call the (the other woman) because she overheard you talking about moving to Florida. I don’t know what you are doing. There are four children to worry about and “Gage” was asking where “Daddy” was today.
**Please note that Gage is the name of the other woman’s son but definitely not the name of either one of his ACTUAL children.
TEXT 3: The other woman’s sister: “I am sorry for my anger earlier. I know that it is not your fault that you fell out of love with your wife. My husband set up the crib today.”
I almost died at Disney World as I discovered that Prince Charming was really a two timing narcissistic asshole of the lowest level. He was not only cheating on me for over two years, but he cheated on our two young children! Despicable!
Not only was he screwing another woman, he was establishing relationships with her four children (with her estranged husband – she’s not divorced but “doesn’t consider herself married”) and made another biological kid with her. There are no words to describe how I was feeling at that moment except devastated, disgusted, disappointed, enraged, furious, inconsolable, wrecked, and blindsided certainly applied.
After reading the text messages I woke Prince Charming up and in the hotel room at Disney World, with our children asleep probably dreaming happy Disney dreams, our marriage imploded. As Prince Charming said, “Things will never be the same.” Then he chose to tell me that he never wanted any of it to happen (including the new baby due a month from then) and that the other woman was actually an insane stalker who was obsessed with him. Due to my shock and looking over at my beautiful little children, I believed him and decided to forgive him. That was my biggest mistake and the journey (emotionally and physically) that we took, over a two month span after this discovery was one that I will always regret taking.
Here is a list of 7 of the things Prince Charming told me about the other woman:
1. At one point when he tried to end the relationship, he received multiple text messages and phone calls from her friends that the she had gone out and was driving around while high on cocaine and alcohol and they didn’t know where she was and that he had to contact her right away.
2. She was addicted to Adderall at one point because she was so stressed out about their relationship ending.
3. She was addicted to Klonopin and even manipulated the staff Psychiatrist at their mutual job to give her more pills.
4. She and her friends are very dangerous and some of her friends have been arrested for drug dealing and other offenses.
5. She has anger management problems in general, and specifically: she was waiting in a long drive thru line at Dunkin Donuts and did not move up right away, and noticed that the girl in the car behind her put her hand up in frustration. In response she got out of her car and banged on the girl’s car window, yelling something to effect of, “Where’s the fucking fire, do you think it really matters if I moved up when we are five cars deep?”
6. She is still legally married and she allegedly was physically abused by her estranged husband but always “fought back.” She has 4 biological children with her estranged husband who most likely witnessed the abuse.
7. Even though she was 9 months pregnant she sent a picture of herself sitting in front of her bed with a bottle of vodka into which she reportedly dissolved a bottle of Klonopin and was threatening Prince Charming that she was going to drink it. Prince Charming actually showed me this picture on his phone.
Based on the picture he painted and what I observed, this woman was not someone I ever wanted to be around my children. Due to the shock and a mama bear instinct that kicked in full force, I decided to “forgive” Charming.
Forgiving him was my biggest mistake, and one that didn’t last long. We are now getting a divorce and MY main focus is on my children. It doesn’t pay to offer forgiveness to a cheater and a narcissist!
More from DivorcedMoms about Cheating And Narcissism:
He Left Two Weeks Ago: This Is What Hatred Looks Like
Emotional & Sexual Infidelity: What Drives Men To Cheat
6 Warning Signs You Are Dating a Narcissist
Nancy Lay-King says
Oh girlfirend: You win! I thought I was regretful for being married to a habitually cheating asshole for 26 years, but nooooooooo, absolutely your-soon-to-be-ex is a walking, talking nightmare of idiocy of moronic proportions!
No matter, when the anger dissipates a bit and the sadness overtakes you…..stay strong, it’s just you forgiving yourself. It’s a process. Keep your childen away from that crazy bitch though.
Jessica Ross says
Thank you Nancy! I need all the support I can get! We have court ordered mediation TODAY and believe me keeping my children away from the crazy bitch is my main focus! Also, what does it say to my babies that their father has chosen to live full time with 5 other children and NOT them. He is not worthy of their love. JR
Donna Johnson says
I’m so sorry Jessica. I’ve been in similar shoes. I know what it feels like to have your life implode like that.
Your soon to be ex-husband obviously needs serious emotional help that he may never get. It’s completely out of your control. You’re doing the right thing by focusing on your and your children.
Some of the best advice I’ve gotten is: no matter how you feel right now, it WILL pass, and whenever you want to scream about something he’s done, turn inward and work on what you can for yourself.
You are stronger and braver than you know. And there are lots of us out here if you need an ear.
All the best to you.
Magda Wydareny says
Jessica, while my situation is not as bad as yours, it still is close, another woman, with kids of her own, etc…
Never regret giving him another chance. I also gave my soon to be ex another chance which lasted over a year. At first I firmly regretted ever letting him back into my life. But now I see I did EVERYTHING I could, and I will never wonder “What if” and “Did I do the right thing”.
You, like I, know that this was the one and only possible outcome.
I wish you luck washing the crazy out of your life!