Gratitude can be your beacon of light, as you break free and make your way toward a new life after divorce.
An attitude of gratitude sounds fantastic when all is wine and roses, but when it comes to times of trial, especially a trial (no pun intended) like divorce, it can be a challenge at best. Or seemingly not possible at all, at the worst.
Choosing gratitude can lift your spirit, your soul, and help you attract more positive energy into your world. It can help prevent you from sinking deep into the bleak world of sadness, pain and hurt that often surrounds the time of divorce. There is another very pragmatic reason to start finding gratitude during your divorce. It is something called the Divorce Paradox. The Divorce Paradox is that during the most traumatic time of your life, you have to make some of the most critical decisions of your life, about the things that mean the most to you: your children, your money, your home, or your business.
You will need every ounce of strength and clear mind that you can get during this time. Being mired in negative emotions will sabotage you. Being in a place of gratitude instead will help prevent you from getting sick, exhausted and weak so that you can make more optimum choices.
So bearing all of that in mind, here are some ways to have gratitude during divorce:
Start a gratitude journal.
Write five things you are grateful for every day – even if it is as simple as being grateful for a roof over your head, food to eat, or clean air to breathe. Ideally, try to come up with five new things each day. Ideally, you would write in your journal first thing in the morning and just before going to sleep. If you don’t have time to write it out, then speak the notes into your phone, or even just make a habit of saying five things you’re grateful for as you are brushing your teeth, or taking your shower. The more you can fill your head with gratitude, replacing the negative thoughts, the more of a shift you will start to see in your world.
Be the source of gratitude for others.
There’s nothing that makes you feel better faster than getting out of your own head and your own mud, and focusing on someone else. Volunteer at your church, or the local YMCA, or food bank. Read stories to a preschool class, or even pick up litter on the sidewalk if you see it.
There are always people who are in worse circumstances than you are, always people who could use a word of encouragement, or a smile. It might sound cliché, but you never know when you can be that saving angel in someone else’s life.
Taking the time to shift your focus off of the things that are bringing you down, and using your energy and your life to be that source of positivity and light for others will be better for you than wallowing in your own bad stuff.
Focus on what you have, not what you don’t have.
This is ESPECIALLY true in divorce. It is so common during this time to focus on what you didn’t get, haven’t gotten, what your soon-to-be-ex has in comparison to you, or what you think should be fair or not fair. Instead of taking what you get for granted and just shifting it to the side so that you can keep focusing on what you don’t have, choose to shift that focus. By instead choosing to show attention to what you have received, gained and been blessed with, you will open the universe. The universe will then be alerted to get bring you more of that…more of what you want, and suddenly less of what you don’t want will be in your life.
Gratitude can be your beacon of light, as you break free and make your way toward the new land.
Remember you’re just one step away from your new life…