Bad marriages and divorce aren’t exactly motivational when it comes to women taking care of themselves.
Women are interesting creatures. We will pour ourselves out to others, we will give our hearts and our lives and our energy to a cause, to a problem, to our marriages, to our children, and we will do all of this sometimes to the detriment of ourselves.
Yes, we are to serve. Yes, we are to fight injustice. Yes, we are to strive to be good wives and good mothers. Yes, to all that.
And yet, if we are not taking care of ourselves, we will have nothing to give.
During the peak of my marital chaos and then into my separation, I was battling sleeplessness, anxiety, depression, eye-twitches, chronic migraines and heart palpitations. In other words, my marriage and separation, and the way I handled it all were taking an actual physical toll on my body. I was deteriorating both emotionally and physically. And then, I gained some weight, I still struggled with sleeplessness but also with exhaustion and sleeping too much during the day at times, and headaches.
Being in a difficult marriage takes a physical toll!
Going through a divorce takes a physical toll. You must take care of yourself physically.
The tips below are common sense, but you might need permission to focus a little bit extra attention on yourself and it may have never occurred to you how interwoven your emotions and circumstances and health all really are. Your body is a gift. It’s your one and only. If you are not doing well physically, every other area of your life will suffer.
How to Start Taking Better Care Of Yourself.
1. Get rest. You need to get enough sleep every single night. And it’s okay to take naps. Living in crisis mode is physically and emotionally exhausting.
2. Get exercise. Even a little bit. Take a walk around the block if that’s all you have time or energy for. Do some yoga. Walk your dog. Take your kids to the park. Get outside and take some deep breaths.
3. Eat well. I start every day with a ridiculously gross healthy smoothie with kale and spinach and banana and blueberries and wheatgrass and flaxseed and what-have-you. On some days, I have two. You don’t have to go nuts, but at least try to eat less crap than what you’re currently eating. Start there.
4. Drink water. Water flushes toxins out of your body and helps stave off headaches, hunger, and irritability. Even if all you do is start your day by drinking down one glass of water, that’ll be a huge boost to your system.
5. Get a check-up. If you haven’t been to the doctor for a while for a well-care check-up, do it. Get your blood work done. Let your doctor know what’s going on in your life. Ask for ways to stay as healthy as possible.
You will get through your current difficult situation. But you need to do your part by taking responsibility for the life and body you’ve been given. Take some small steps today to take better care of yourself.
6. Take multi-vitamins. You should run this by your doctor, but I take Vitamin B (energy), Vitamin D (mood), and Fish Oil (for the brain). I can’t swallow big pills (freakishly-small esophagus over here) so I take adult gummies (because I’m ten).
7. Do not rule out anti-depressants. I took an anti-depressant for about eighteen months and it helped me. I didn’t feel like I was in la-la land or anything…I still felt every emotion…but I felt a bit steadier and perhaps a bit more able to handle my reality. They’re not for everyone. But look past the stigma and talk to your doctor to see if they might help you for a season.
8. Stay connected. People with friends live longer. Do not isolate yourself during this hard time in your life.
9. Get in counseling. If you are trying to figure out your marriage problems or deal with your divorce grief solely in your own head, you will be attempting to untangle those knots forever. Find someone who can walk you through the process.
10. Do something fun. Life is hard and serious. And, I don’t know about you, but I sometimes maybe have the tendency to overthink things (whatever). Get out and enjoy life from time to time. Stop in the middle of your chaos and messy circumstances to dance in your kitchen, to read a book just for pure enjoyment, to go to the movies, to buy yourself something pretty.
You will get through your current difficult situation. But you need to do your part by taking responsibility for the life and body you’ve been given. Take some small steps today to take better care of yourself.
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