You’re in the midst of healing after your divorce, and to pass the time you log onto Facebook and there they are – you know those people; the ones with their walls filled with inspirational quotes. They are continually popping up on your newsfeed, and in your grief-stricken state you do the unthinkable, you scroll past them, refusing to hit the like button and think, “damn it Facebook where is the dislike button we’ve all been asking for?!”
You can’t even finish reading past the rainbow to the end of the quote. Your anger just won’t let you. Who do they think they are anyway, with their wall full of cheer and positivity? Maybe if they’d been where you are they wouldn’t be so inspirational all the time!
Here are 8 Reasons You Keep Your Inspirational Quotes To Yourself!
1. Sometimes it feels good to feel bad.
When you allow yourself to wallow in your misery there are definite benefits. You don’t have to do housework, and you don’t have to face reality. You can have your pity party, overeat, have a Netflix marathon, and you don’t even have to leave your house or do your hair, and that feels really good! You get some residual benefits from allowing yourself to be uninspired, and eventually, you’ll pull yourself up by your yoga pants, and be ready.
2. The grieving process is necessary.
If you’ve done any type of research on this grief thing, you’ll probably recognize the common acronym, DABDA – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. All of which are normal to experience, and when you’re not quite in that acceptance phase, it’s ok to wish others would keep their inspirational quotes to themselves.
3. Anger is a necessary part of grief.
The grieving process doesn’t happen in a straight line, it’s more like a bouncy ball pinging all over the place. When you’re angry it’s difficult not to get sucked into letting it come out at the cashier who’s taking forever-and-a-day to get your order right, but it’s necessary to understand it and feel it in a constructive way. Keep a journal, talk to a friend, take a walk, or write a letter to your ex that you’ll never send. Get your anger out in a healthy way, and know that it’s a perfectly normal feeling to experience.
4. Remaining uninspired offers a certain level of protection.
When you’re not full of cheer, and on a high that tells you it’s ok to let someone else in, you’re guarding your heart. While you may not be doing it intentionally, staying in a funk keeps the doors shut, and keeps you from getting hurt again.
5. Sadness isn’t bad.
Just as it’s necessary to feel anger, you can be sad, process it, and use it to understand yourself more fully.
6. Emotional eating feels good.
Staying in and eating an entire loaf of hot sourdough bread, or going out with friends and consuming a hot chocolate lava cake might not be great for your waistline, but it tastes and feels really good. As long as you’re not developing a binge-type eating disorder, you can indulge yourself, and get to building that “revenge bod” next week when you are feeling more inspired.
7. Moving on takes work and if you aren’t ready for it, then you just aren’t.
Resolving to be uninspired keeps your mind from moving to the phase of acceptance, and once you get there, that climb will be uphill, through the snow, and with no shoes on. Even the greatest hikers doubt themselves and need to take a few breaths before they begin.
8. Our journeys all look different.
Your BFF may be divorced too and be posting more inspiring quotes than you can handle in your newsfeed because that’s what helps her get through the day, but that doesn’t mean it needs to be what gets you through yours.
Healing is a process and it’s ok to give yourself permission to grieve, but put a time limit on it. Understand the signs of depression, and other problematic behaviors, and reach out when you’re engaging in them for far too long. Inspirational quotes may never be your thing, and that’s alright too as long as you do find your thing and come out whole on the other side.