As Napoleon once said, “One should wash one’s dirty laundry at home.” When it comes to divorce or separation matters and posting on social media, this goes without saying. Unfortunately, when some people are going through a tumultuous time, they take it to their social media to vent, rage, or seek support from their ‘friends’ or followers.
Others go on social media to post content showing how happy they are in the hope that their former spouse will see it, or someone will tell them how happy they are in order to solicit an emotional response from their spouse, even if it is not true. The truth is, this is not a good idea and there couldn’t be a worse place to do it.
Over the years, I have witnessed information posted on social media used against individuals in legal proceedings; and this has only continued to increase. For warring spouses, social media can prove to be a valuable repository of information that can be used against you in court. One of the first things I stress to my clients when they sought my assistance, is to clean up their social media privacy settings and refrain from posting anything on social media about their divorce, separation, or custody issues.
Social Media During Separation and Divorce
To make sure your social media does not end up being the foe you never intended, here are a few tips to make sure your social media does not end up hurting your case; or making things worse for you than they already are.
Consider Deactivating Your Social Media
While this may sound excessive, remember that even if your social media posts don’t directly show anything negative, your spouse might use your posts to challenge your credibility. Many divorce disputes are based on just your testimony and that of your spouse. If the judge believes your spouse is more credible than you, then this might not end well for you.
Further, remember that not all of your ‘friends’ or followers are ‘on your side’. Even if you change your privacy settings, there may be people who see the information you post that are secretly feeding information to your former spouse. I have experienced clients who provide the information they have received from people the opposing party thought were their ‘friends’ or supportive family.
Do not post negative comments about your spouse or their family
If you do decide to keep your online presence, be vigilant about your online image and what you post on social media.
Do not post any negative comments about your former spouse or their family members. When making decisions about custody and parenting, judges want to see that parents are putting their children’s best interests at the forefront and that they are able to put their differences aside for the sake of their children.
Part of that means showing that you are able to co-parent with your spouse. Posting negative information about the other spouse can ramp up tensions or be used to show that you are a non-cooperating parent.
Legal consequences aside, it is worth remembering that your former spouse may not only be the parent of your children, but they are also someone you once shared intimate details about your life and vulnerabilities.
Posting negative comments about your former spouse may encourage retaliation from your spouse, which may include sharing further harmful details about you that you would rather keep private. As the old saying goes ‘people in glass houses should not throw stones.
It is also advisable not to share any details whatsoever about your ongoing legal battles, as this will reflect negatively on you and potentially exacerbate matters unnecessarily.
It is ok to want to vent and garner support from friends and loved ones, but this need not be done on social media. There are also counseling professionals who can help you navigate the emotional minefield of divorce and separation while keeping your confidentiality.
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