Divorce is never pleasant. There are a range of reasons behind divorce, and very rarely are both parties of a marriage open to discuss the legal proceedings that are needed without letting emotions take the wheel.
It can often seem hopeless and you will challenge your sanity at times as well. The good news is that there are things you can do to make the transition from married to divorced slightly less emotional and problematic.
First things first, it is important to know that divorce is pretty common. Here are a few divorce statistics you can draw from when feeling alone during the process:
- 9 percent is the divorce rate per 100 women
- The divorce rate has doubled since the 1960s
- 40 to 50 percent of marriages in the US end in divorce
- 41 percent of first marriages end in divorce
- 60 percent of second marriages end in divorce
- 73 percent of third marriages end in divorce
How can you survive divorce?
Here are 3 stress reducing divorce tips to help keep you sane.
Become An Organizational Machine
There is an endless sea of decisions you will need to make during the course of your divorce proceedings. And none of those decisions are to be taken lightly, since your future, and the future of your children, if you have kids. This makes being an organizational machine an absolute must.
“I have seen time and time again how the most organized spouse often fares better in a divorce settlement,” Jeff Landers of Forbes explained. “Why? Because someone who’s organized has many of the facts, figures and documents ready to hand over to his/her divorce team on Day One.”
Not only will being organized help you make timely decisions and keep the divorce process moving in the direction you want, but it can also help you keep stress minimized and sanity improved. Financial planning is an obvious first step. There are a number of financial issues involved with a divorce.
If possible, begin working through savings, physical property (house and cars), as well as all debts you and your spouse may have, whether shared or not. You will also need to get tax information, pay stubs, bank account statements, investments, and any other financial documentation you can find and neatly organize.
This may seem like a real pain, but once you get it done, it is done. You will be able to access any financial information needed throughout the course of the divorce. This can have a big impact on your long-term sanity. You should also begin thinking about post-divorce finances too.
Get Ahead Of Divorce Costs and Future Finances
You may be knee deep in divorce, but do not let the future evade you. Thinking about your financial future after divorce is absolutely important. This means getting ahead of divorce costs. Begin compiling a list of divorce-related costs to help you understand how much you will owe after divorce, and how much you will need to survive on your own.
What does a divorce lawyer do, and how much do they cost? You can get more information here. Ultimately, if you can get finances organized and work out a plan with your future ex-spouse, you will have an easier road ahead.
Remember, divorce is not cheap. The less you spend during the divorce process, whether it be on lawyers or hotel rooms, keep the budget tight. This will give you more post-divorce capital to start your new life, and the new life of your children.
Get Your Emotions Under Zen-Like Control
Emotions play a big role in the divorce process, as well as the outcome. To combat these emotions, it is best to become a Zen-like divorce master. To do this, first, envision what the outcome of your divorce will look like for you. This is the most favorable outcome for you and your children, within reason of course.
This kind of “goal” will help keep you on the right journey toward a successful divorce without losing your sanity. Let it keep your focus laser-like and allow it to guide your decisions during the undoubtedly emotional process.
Learning to keep your emotions in check can be empowering, but don’t try to go it alone. Lean on friends and family for support. Sometimes scheduling times for you to vent with a friend or family member is what you need to get through it just one more week.
In Conclusion . . .
Divorce is emotional and can be a very upsetting moment in life that unravels sanity. However, it is just that — a moment. Use the above tips and you can keep your sanity during and after the divorce. Do you have any divorce tips for staying sane? We want to hear them.