People thinking about divorce may think that it will solve a difficult problem and eventually make them happier. And sometimes it does. But studies have found that most adults are not happier when they divorce. Studies have also shown that divorce does not lead to a better life, better relationships in the future and, an overwhelming 50% of those who divorce later regret the decision.
If you are thinking about divorce, do yourself a favor and make sure your head is in the right place before moving forward. I’ve put together a list of questions anyone thinking about divorce should answer. Questions that will help clear up any doubts about whether you should continue on in your relationship or, give it one more shot before pulling the plug.
28 Questions For Those Thinking About Divorce:
- Do you feel love for your spouse?
- Do you feel love from your spouse?
- Do you feel safe, emotionally and physically with your spouse today?
- Do you feel respected by your spouse?
- Has your spouse ever cheated on you?
- 6 Have you ever cheated on your spouse?
- Are you and your partner now faithful to each other?
- Has your spouse committed financial infidelity? (Spending money you don’t know about)
- Have you committed financial infidelity? (Hiding spending habits from your spouse)
- Has your partner threatened or caused you physical harm in the past?
- Have you threatened or caused your spouse physical harm in the past?
- Do you and your spouse argue in front of your children?
- Do the problems in your marriage negatively impact your children?
- Do you feel your children are safe with your spouse?
- Do you dislike your spouse as a person?
- Do you feel your spouse dislikes you as a person?
- Are you happier when your spouse is not around?
- Are you physically attracted to your spouse?
- Is your spouse physically attracted to you?
- Have you tried everything within your power to save your marriage (Counseling, communicating about the problems)?
- Has your spouse been an active participant in trying to solve the marital problems?
- Have you put serious thought into the consequences to your children if you divorce?
- Are you able to live on your own and financially take care of yourself?
- Divorce impacts everyone from family to friends. Have you considered what impact a divorce will have?
- Can you live with the idea of not having as much time with your children? Most courts award 50/50 or shared custody, are you on board with seeing your children part time?
- What if you never remarry? Are you OK with the idea of spending the rest of your life alone?
- When you imagine your day-to-day life without your spouse how do you feel?
- Are you emotionally and financially ready to go through the divorce process?
The questions above cover, what I believe, are issues anyone considering divorce should…consider. Now that you’ve answered the questions, there are more questions.
Are you still thinking about divorce?
Have you reconsidered?
Did any of the questions cause you to pause and think twice?
If any of the above questions caused you to pause and think twice it isn’t time for you to move forward with divorce. You aren’t sure, that being the case, it’s time to stop straddling the fence when it comes to problems in your marriage. If you straddle that fence long enough, you will end up in divorce court. It’s your choice at this point, let the relationship move ahead as is, or seek help in improving the marital problems.
No one should make a rash decision about divorce. I wouldn’t wish divorce on anyone nor do I wish a lifetime of unhappiness in a less than satisfying marriage. Based on your response to the answers above, you should know whether or not divorce is the move you should make.