Let’s be honest, I could write a list of 50 ways to tell your man is lying and cite all 50 examples from my marriage. But I picked my favorite four and surely you have seen these, too. I firmly believe that a pattern of lies equals DANGER. RED FLAG. RUN IMMEDIATELY. I didn’t run for 10 years which was a bad move on my part.
Lies wear on you and slowly break you down. They create an environment of distrust and suspicion. Who wants to live like that? I did – for way too time. And it made me a crazy person. I felt like every day I had to pick through the lies, conduct an investigation until I found the truth, and then attempt an interrogation. Relationships shouldn’t be like that. Take my word for it.
Is He a Liar? 4 Ways to Tell He is Too Good to Be True
1. He Secretive with Electronic Devices:
Like, you never see it his electronic devices, at all. Or it is password protected to the MAX. When asked why so secretive with phone or I-Pad, your man responds, “I always carry it in my pocket/on my person at all times.” Really? In the bathroom? It can’t even be charging out in the open? I feel an honest person would let their phone charge without hiding it. My ex-husband wouldn’t even charge his phone out in the open. They are hiding something if they hide cell phones, laptops or Ipads.
2. He is Way Too Defensive:
When asked to explain a number on a call log, instead of answering the question, your man flies into a rage. Screaming, yelling and accusing you of being suspicious all the time. Well, duh. I am. And PS – I googled that number and it was your ex-girlfriend you were calling in the middle of the night. If a simple question sends your man into a rage, it is a deflection. An attempt to confuse you or gaslight you into thinking you are the suspicious one and shouldn’t have asked. I was gaslighted for years. Truthful people don’t fly into a rage when asked a question. Screaming about a call log is a sure sign something is up, probably a lie.
3. He Can’t Keep His Stories Straight:
You ask him the same question over and over and the details change. The truth NEVER changes and isn’t hard to keep straight, because IT. IS. THE. TRUTH. Oh, so your original story that Pat came over and HE was the one who bought flowers on Valentine’s Day at CVS isn’t what happened? Now you are saying Pat MET you at CVS, purchased the flowers, put the receipt in the back seat, and then you both drove in YOUR car to the restaurant. Oh, OK. Hmmm, let me decipher this. Glad you got your Tinder girlfriend flowers at CVS.
4. Physical Behaviors:
What we call in investigations, “nonverbals.” When his body language deviates from the norm and you can sense something isn’t right, because hello, we are women and we sense everything. He is lying! The longer you have been with someone, the easier this is to detect. My ex-husband’s nostrils would flare horribly whenever he was lying. At times it was comical. Towards the end, infuriating. I even told him to start working on his deception indicators, because his nostrils gave him away every time! Everyone has a nervous tick – especially liars. Interesting, so when you invited that woman from your hometown to visit you in New York and get a hotel room together, that was just a joke you say? Cue: Nostrils flare. “It was a joke! Just kidding around!” Lie!
There are so many, aren’t there, ladies? Lies, that is.
For my ex wife, It was all about secretive communications and changes in behavior. Password protecting her phone, new messaging apps that she doesn’t use to communicate with me, our kids or extended family. More (from almost none) girls night out, working late, etc… and then theres the bedroom. New lingerie, more sex and a couple of things on the no list suddenly became something she initiated. She couldn’t hide the lingerie, so she hid it in plain sight, she didn’t really understand how pathetic our sex life was show she thought she had to increase it to keep me from seeing whats going on, and the other stuff, she quickly forgot what was on my no lost and his yes list, so it all became yes.
The phone records told me something was up and once I knew to look, it was easy to unravel everything. She’s not exaclty a CIA covert operative.
Molly B. says
Phone records huge indicator for me. And always taking his phone with him. I mean, really. Did he think he wouldn’t get caught?