For those who know me, I’m more Clark Griswold than Ebenezer Scrooge. The magic of the holidays takes me back to my little girl glee and puts me in a state of anticipation from Thanksgiving night until Christmas Day. I love the season, even the rush and hustle and commercialism of it all. It’s a fabulous time to be a part of something bigger than myself.
Christmas to me is the start of new beginnings, especially if you are a person of faith. The whole reason behind the celebration is the long awaited, fulfilled promise… a great gift for everyone… a second chance, so to speak.
Yet I just can’t seem to get in the mood this year. I’ll blame it on the end. I’m allowed to feel numb.
True, I spent a week in the tropics, surrounded by sun, surf and sand. But Perry Como singing, “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” just didn’t carry the same impact with the temperature hovering at 80 degrees and palms swaying in the on-shore breeze…
Alas, even prior to my departure for warmer climates I was slacking off.
In past years, we’ve pulled the Christmas tree out of storage on Thanksgiving night. After a careful check of all the light strings, I have that minimum Christmas “base coat” set on a timer so that I wake up to a lit tree and head off to bed with the same soft glow.
Not this year.
The tree is still in storage. My lone house decorating is a willow star with lights in the kitchen and a red bow on the front door. I bought them this year, which is the only reason those two items are displayed.
The month of December typically signals the start of Cookie Baking Season. There should be smells of vanilla, sugar, butter, almond, and cinnamon wafting from the oven. I’m a Cookie Super Hero. It is my thing.
But not this year.
Out of guilt, I bought a couple of bags of sugar cookie mix (just add water and eggs). The reality is I bought the mixes because I had a good coupon. The idea of decorating them leaves me feeling sad. So I bought frosting and sprinkles. For someone who makes almost every item from scratch, I’ve hit the lowest level of laziness.
Christmas shopping? Nope, not into it. Thankfully I’m the kind of person that buys throughout the year so the kids won’t feel completely slighted. I even thought of going the gift card route, which to me is the ultimate cop out. I’d like to take the family on a vacation but schedules are not aligned, and the kiddos are all like “Sigh….. Spending time with Mooooommmmmm……..” Yep, the joys of raising teens…. Even a restaurant dinner together is a big production. At least I’m not alone. Husband #1 gets the same attitude, and he gave them a CAR!
I have Husband #2’s presents sitting on the dining room table, waiting patiently for a packing box and a trip to the post office. Don’t be surprised that I’m still sending something out to him, withholding love is not who I am. Even if he doesn’t want to be with me, I still care about the guy and I handmade him something that I thought he would enjoy, a metaphorical roadmap of our time together. It’s not like I can return it to the store… I will still send him a box but I may not have the spirit in me to draw holly leaves on the outside like I usually do with Christmas packages.
My sister is coming to visit this weekend and do some Christmas shopping. Maybe I can glom on to her holiday cheer and siphon some off for myself.
More like “blah” humbug.
If I have any more Christmases like this, I may need an eggnog intervention.
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