As stated in yesterday’s post, the small, daily differences slide by unnoticed but add up to big changes when we take a hard look. Now is the time to see what really happened between then and now.
To continue with my revelations…
Chocolate is always a good idea – I don’t think this needs any further explanation (but if you really need one, click here). If it does, give me a call and I’ll meet you in the Chocolate Capital of the World, Brussels. After all, I do love to travel and I need to find a good chocolate-loving travel buddy to share experiences with in the future.
Building a Better Boundary – Now I know what boundaries are, what their function is, and how to go about enforcing them. Yes, I didn’t have the best of boundaries previously. I’d feel trampled on but didn’t know how to draw a line in a positive manner. One thing I’ve learned over the past year is how to stand up for myself in a better way (than an argument) and to more respectfully honor someone else’s boundaries. Sometimes people choose differently than what I would have hoped, but that’s their choice and nothing to beat myself up about. Not all lessons are easy.
The Masks We Wear – everyone, and I do mean everyone, wears a mask in public. No matter what the reason, masks help to protect our soft gooey insides from the harshness of the outside world. There’s nothing wrong with that at all. It’s part of our preservation tactics.
We all have a social mask, right? We put it on, we go out, put our best foot forward, our best image. But behind that social mask is a personal truth, what we really, really believe about who we are and what we’re capable of. ~ Dr. Phil McGraw
What I’ve changed is the mask I wear at home, with those I love the most. No longer do I sport the stiff upper lip and pretend that I have it all together. Instead, I share what’s going on inside my turbulent head, I’m sad, I’m lonely, I’m scared, I’m worried, I’m afraid. It’s easy to share happiness and good times. Not so much the messy parts of life. I give those closest to me the opportunity to know the real me and I open myself up to the possibility of their love. Some may not be able to handle it, which is perfectly fine. Sorting out the different types of relationships helps identify those who can and want to care for me. And this flow of open love is not a one-way street. By opening my heart, I find that more hearts open to me. It’s OK for me not to be the strong one all the time.
Learning and Change – the last thing I want to mention is the capacity we all have for redefining who we are. The saying, you can’t teach an old dog new ticks is complete BS. For example, I don’t like being angry: what a waste of energy. Coming to the realization that bad behavior is a choice, one that I don’t have to make, is enlightening. I’m very proud of the fact that I didn’t get angry as Husband #2 and I wrapped up our final phone call. Personal growth is another area of life where it’s OK to ask for more. I want more wisdom, more knowledge, more understanding. I want to continue learning throughout my entire life, even if it’s something as small and insignificant as how to use Greek yogurt as a substitute in recipes. But I think I’ve come farther than ingredient hacks. This year I learned as much as I could about having a better intimate relationship and it changed me. As I stated yesterday, I curbed my anger. I’ve also figured out why I felt invisible over the past decade. Now I continue to work on patience and acceptance and personal boundaries.
With all that said about 2014, what are the great and wondrous revelations for 2015? I can’t wait to find out…