Seduction is a dying art. It takes time to woo a woman, make her swoon, and have her fall weak at the knees. In our technologically driven world, a quick response and instant gratification is now the norm. The power of the written word is all but gone, and not only for younger generations. Email has replaced the love letter and text the dreaded phone call. But despite our fingers doing the talking, it’s not all bad news for romantics.
An efficient communication method, texting need not be cold. If done well, it can keep a burning flame alive. And the best part? Little effort is necessary. When it comes to texting women, less is more.
Females, unlike males who are more reactive to visual cues, favor hints of romance. Yet men continue to miss their mark by making sexually explicit references that often leave women wondering if these guys are still eating at the seventh grade lunch table and hanging out in the boys locker room. As a guide, I offer 12 of what I deem the sexiest texts men can send women that don’t specifically mention sex but are effective for getting—and keeping—the girl.
1. “I miss you,” “Miss you,” or “Miss u.” What woman doesn’t want to be missed? Not me! I love knowing the guy I’m seeing is missing me when we’re not together. It reassures me I mean more to him than the finite time we spend together, especially if we aren’t able to see each other often. It’s during down times that it’s easy to feel disconnected and these few words can help bridge the gap between dates.
Personal pronouns and abbreviations matter. Speaking in the first person strengthens a sentiment and personalizes it, while shortening “you” to “u” lessens a phrase’s potency. Usage is personal preference based on individual style, the text’s recipient, and the writer’s intended message. The same rules apply to numbers two and five below.
2. “Thinking of you” or “Thinking of u.” We all want to know we’re on the mind of someone we’re dating. Everyone’s busy so it’s nice to take a few seconds out and remind a love interest that out of sight isn’t out of mind. And if perchance you’re not a passing thought as one guy informed me when I asked, run. And fast.
3. “Wish you were here” or “Wish I were there.” Sometimes we can’t spend as much time as we’d like with the person we’re dating. Let a woman know that even though you aren’t with her you’d like to be. Doing so will go a long way toward conveying continued interest. Of course, at the end of the day actions always speak louder than words. If his wishes never come true let him find another star to wish upon.
4. “You look beautiful.” It’s common for people dating to text pictures when not together. What nicer way to express sentiment then to compliment a woman on her appearance. Be sure if a woman is sending a picture of herself it’s because she’s happy with her appearance in said photo. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder so let her know you behold her.
5. “I love you,” “Love you,” or “Love u.” If you’ve reached this stage of intimacy, these words are the nicest a woman can hear. What’s better, hearing them from someone you love NEVER gets old. Reading the words can translate into a sweet and private exchange between two people, so long as text is not the first means of communicating such an important proclamation. Using the text abbreviation ILY minimizes the weight of these powerful words and is a poor means of conveying a heartfelt expression. Receiving ILY texts from a former boyfriend made me question the veracity of his words and increasingly alienated me, which I’m sure ran contrary to his intended goal.
6. “Let me know when you get home.” You’ve traveled to your date. You’ve spent a romantic evening together, perhaps part of it entangled between the sheets. Everyone wants to know they matter, even to someone they don’t know well, and that the time spent was significant. What better way to tell your date they’re special then by expressing concern for their wellbeing? If a guy doesn’t care about your whereabouts once his needs have been satisfied, sexually or otherwise, question whether or not his intentions are aboveboard.
7. “I’m happy when I’m with you.” “If you’re happy and you know it… let her know!” In any relationship there’s always insecurity. None of us, not even married folks, should ever become complacent enough in a relationship to think we’re immune to a rough patch or a break up. Reassurances go a long way toward underscoring the relevance of your time together. Tell her every so often how you feel. Don’t ever assume she knows because although women’s intuition is strong, it’s not foolproof.
8. “You are wonderful.” I’m never an advocate of serious discussions via text. But sometimes we’re having a bad day or going through a difficult time and our insecurities and self-deprecating tendencies seep through a text regardless. None of us are immune to feeling down. I’m no exception. I’ve been on the receiving end of this text and, wow, did it lift my spirits! Knowing the person I’m seeing thinks a lot of me, appreciates me, and recognizes my inner beauty is empowering.
9. “Thank you for…” Always, ALWAYS express gratitude. You’ve spent a romantic evening together, part of which may have been spent wrapped up in each other’s arms for hours on end. We all know those R-rated thoughts will linger, and that’s a good thing! But guys, be careful about what you express thankfulness for and how you do it. Never directly thank a woman for sex. Yes, we know you’re tickled pink about it and we’re glad to know you think sex with us is a gift because it is—sex is special. But, please, use your words! “Thank you for coming to see me.” “Thank you for a perfect evening.” “Thank you for an amazing night.” Women know how to read between the lines. We just want to be reading somewhere between Shakespeare and Penthouse, and not only the latter.
10. “Good morning,” or “Good night.” You’re the first person he thinks of when he wakes up and the last person he thinks of before he goes to sleep. What more needs to be said? Say good morning to a woman and likely you will be on her mind the rest of the day. Say good night to her and, well, we all know how visceral dreams can be.
11. “Can’t wait to see you.” You’re the apple of his eye, the object of his desire. You. Not the woman down the street, not the woman he dated three months ago, and not the woman he spoke to on line at the supermarket. YOU. Expressing eagerness to see a woman builds anticipation on both sides and engenders excitement for an upcoming date. Win-win.
12. “Sleep well” or “Sweet dreams.” These words can’t help but evoke vivid images of your special someone in bed. Sleeping together is one of the most intimate acts a couple can share. Sleep is when we’re most vulnerable and our guard is down. Wishing a woman to sleep well is tantamount to wishing for her peacefulness, comfort, and safety. To sleep comfortably and soundly in the arms of another we need to trust the person with whom we share our bed. Even if a couple has yet to do so, wrapping her in your words creates feelings of warmth and intimacy and, in the end, isn’t that when we feel most sexy?
FAQs about Texting:
Has technology killed romance?
You may think technology has killed romance as gone are the days when men left no stone unturned to woo a woman, and made her fall in love. But it’s not all bad news for romantics after all as technology has made communication and expression far easier than before.
How do men and women express romantic interests?
Women are far more subtle in expressing romantic interest as compared to men. Men respond more to visual cues whereas women favor hints of romance. Men at times would want to cut to the chase by making sexual references, which leave women wondering if they ever grow up.
Why does he say I miss you?
He says I miss you because he wants to connect with you. Such words can help him bridge the gap between dates. Would you not like to find out if he misses you or not when he is not in your company?
What does it mean when he says ‘thinking of you’?
He wants to make sure that you understand that you are not forgotten when you are not with him. It’s nice for anyone to take time out of their schedule to let their love interest know that they are thinking of them.
Why does he say ‘wish you were here’?
When says wish you were here, he wants to indicate that he wants to spend more time with you. It’s also an expression of his continued romantic interest in you.
Why does he tell me to ‘let me know when you get home’?
If he is texting you to ‘let me know when you get home’ after a romantic evening, he is saying you are special. Be ware of guys who don’t ask you this once they have had sex.
Just a little contrarian perspective. I’m a man in a 22 year relationship with a woman I have never married. Please don’t assume it is my choice, it’s not. I have been loyal, faithful and devoted. I adore her. I have plenty of faults. Of course. I have not been kissed on the lips in eight years. I have not had sex in seven. We hold hands, we enjoy each other’s company. We spend a lot of time together. But I can’t tell her I love her anymore. Not because I don’t, it’s because she doesn’t love me, not like I’d want. So, in my early fifties, I’m stuck. It doesn’t just happen to women. I miss kissing. I miss touching intimately. I have had my chances. I am not a model, but people say I’m attractive. I have had attention from beautiful women. It’s nice, but I would not stray. I am romantic though. I want to hold someone again. But I’m too tired now. I’m worn out. I don’t have energy to give. But I dream about romantic love. It’s not just women who feel alone. But I accept having a friend, not a lover. Who has sex after 50 anyway?