Woman have coping skills that men don’t which help her heal, move on and be happier after divorce.
A study by Kingston University meant to analyze the negative impact of trauma on men and women came up with some surprising findings about divorce and women. It would seem, women are happier after divorce than men.
In the study, researchers surveyed 10,000 people in the U.K. between the ages of sixteen and sixty. In the survey participants were asked to rate their happiness before and after their divorce. During a 20-year period, researchers found that women were happier and more satisfied with their lives after divorce.
“In the study we took into account the fact that divorce can sometimes have a negative financial impact on women, but despite that it still makes them much happier than men,” Professor Yannis Georgellis, Director of the Centre for Research in Employment, Skills and Society (CRESS) at Kingston Business School, said.
So, what it is about women that enables them to move on to a more fulfilling life after divorce? Why do women handle divorce better than men? I’m sure that some would argue it is because more women file for divorce than men, that women are happier because they are getting what they want.
That argument only holds water if you delve into the many reasons women file for divorce. And, there are many reasons women file for a divorce and not all of those reasons have anything to do with falling out of love or no longer being happy in the marriage or getting what they want. The last thing most women who file for a divorce want is a divorce.
What most women want is a healthy marriage and once she realizes that isn’t what she is going to get, in today’s society she has no qualms about filing for a divorce.
4 common reasons women file for a divorce
1. She has been abandoned and left with no recourse but to file for a divorce and pursue child support via the family court system.
2. Her husband suffers a midlife crisis and endangers her financial security, emotional security and behaves in a manner that is destructive to her and her future welfare.
3. Her husband is abusive, and she has no recourse when protecting herself other than to file for a divorce and put distance between herself and the abuser.
4. Her husband has an affair, moves out of the marital home, and in with the other woman leaving her responsible for financial maintenance of the home and family.
The reason for the divorce is not a factor in how well a woman will heal and move on with her life once she is divorced. Divorce can be a hard choice to make but once it is made a woman has other choices she can make. She can give into the trauma of the divorce or rebuild her life and get on with the business of living. Most choose to get on the with the business of living.
6 reasons women are happier after divorce than men
1. Women are more likely than men to seek help for the emotional trauma caused by divorced for a therapist.
2. Women are more likely than men to surround themselves with a positive support system such as friends and family.
3. Women have different emotional coping strategies. While men look outward when seeking comfort from emotional pain, women look inward. They take an internal inventory of the role they played in the demise of the marriage, they work at getting their emotional “ducks in a row” and letting go of the past so they can focus on the future.
4. Women are less likely to turn to alcohol, drugs, new relationships and casual sex to distract them from the trauma of divorce.
5. Women are more likely to seek out new experiences after divorce, experiences that enrich their
6. Women are more likely to prioritize their needs. They will put an effort into staying physically healthy during the trauma of divorce. They will have more focus on eating properly and working out in an effort to stave off illness and depression.
Women are no stronger emotionally than men. They do, however, use different coping skills than men when dealing with emotional trauma and, based on the study, those skills make it possible for women to move on and be happier than men after divorce.
FAQs About How Men And Women Fare After Divorce:
Are men happier after divorce or women?
Women are happier than men after divorce, suggests a Kingston University study. The focus of the study had been to assess the negative impact of trauma on men and women after divorce.
Does negative financial impact make women unhappy after divorce?
A study says despite the negative financial impact of divorce, most women still feel happier than men.
What are some common reasons for women to file for divorce?
Why women file for divorce can be categorized in four broad categories. One, they file for divorce after their husbands abandoned them; two, her husband has endangered her financial and emotional security after being unable to cope with midlife crisis; three, he is abusive; four, he is having an affair.
What makes women happier than men after divorce?
Why women feel happier than men after divorce has to do with the way they handle it. Women are more likely than men to seek help for emotional trauma; they are more likely than men to surround themselves with a positive support system such as friends and family.
Photo by Marivi Pazos on Unsplash
irrelevant, you made a promise, in public, not keeping promises makes you a liar
There’s a very simple explanation:
Women are much more likely to be the partner who files for divorce; women are much more likely to be the partner who wanted the divorce.
Accordingly, women are happier after device because they are getting what they decided they wanted. Men, who in contrast are usually surprised to find their wives have decided to divorce, are usually dealing with their divorce from the perspective of someone who is going through a catastrophic event.
So knowing nothing at all about the reasons why any particular couple determines to divorce, if 75% of the time it is the wife who initiates the divorce, then we can reasonably expect that the same 75% of divorcees who sought out the divorce are happier about it than their exes are.
Simple response to your diatribe and difference in opinion. You’re responding to. “Divorced Moms” article. Enough said.
Lol women don’t pay alimony. Women basically get a retirement funded by their ex. Kids and the house; what a deal! Yeah, I’d be happy too! Course the man doesn’t have the skills to cope with giving everything away.
I didn’t receive alimony, didn’t ask for it. I didn’t receive any part of his retirement fund. The house was sold and I purchased a new home for the boys and I. He and I split the equity in the marital home when it sold. Only 30% of women receive alimony and in 87% of divorce cases, the marital home is sold or one spouse is bought out by the other. And, 50/50 custody is the norm these days if fathers request it. The problem is, only 27% of fathers request equal custody time with their children. It’s been proven that women’s income drops by 25% after divorce while men’s increase. So, your arguments don’t hold water. Women suffer more financial loss after divorce than men and are still happier than they were when married. A tough pill to swallow but, it’s an indication that men aren’t good at marriage and, in the end, like you, some end up being whiny, babies. Might be time to stop blaming your ex and start getting introspective about what you can do differently next time to keep a wife.
Didn’t get any money, he got half of my assets, I was left with the children and the bills, and he got s new wife half my age. What did I get? I got to live in peace, without a lying, cheating, angry man who always thought the grass was greener somewhere else. I’m still single, and he’s divorced…again. ♀️
Probably the worst article I’ve ever read. There is nothing here but coping and bullshit.
That’s a bunch of BS! I got nothing from my ex and he swindled money behind my back and his monoey as he planned his escape with the OW. He makes 4 times what I make and now I am struggling to make ends meet after a 33 year marriage ended due to his affair and selfishness. My ex gave nothing away. In my opinion he is nothing but a failure because of his actions. God will hold him accountable and will not bless it adulterous relationship.
Let’s face it, women are not designed to be happy. They are designed to drive their men away from them so much that war, fighting wild animals and exploring new, dangerous places seems more appealing than hanging around the woman at home. Just because women say they are happier in a survey does not mean that they are any happier after divorce than any other time in their miserable lives.
Men on the other hand, are easily pleased and usually happy, as long as they have enough money, food and sex. As you may already know, money buys the other two, so money is what makes men happy, not wives.
With that attitude it’s no wonder YOU can’t make a woman happy.
How can you make someone happy who’s never satisfied. I’ve found that in the ‘real’ world women always want one thing ‘more’ and they’re never completely happy. Anyway since when has it been a man’s job to ‘make a woman happy’, take some responsibility for Christ’s sake.
Jack Nicholson in the film As Good as it Gets summed it up when he was asked how he wrote women so well and he replied
“I think of a man, and then I remove logic and accountability”.
Pretty easy to be happy when you are still supported by a man, whether through alimony or child support