Just the term dating after divorce can strike fear and panic into women of all ages, never mind women over 50. It really shouldn’t though. Some women over 50 think they don’t have what it takes to be in the dating world. They worry that their bodies have lost that something special to time. That dating is a thing the young, beautiful crowd does. STOP THAT THINKING RIGHT NOW!
Get your mind away from all that negative talk. Women over 50 are not only beautiful and desirable, they are wise and experienced. Fifty-plus women have life experiences that they didn’t have when they were younger. There wasn’t a self-confidence back then that is felt now.
Dating can be frightening because it is about being vulnerable and opening yourself up to the possibility of being hurt on a different level. Many women have experienced debilitating pain over a divorce or break up who are scared to set themselves up for that heartache again. If we remove the perception that dating is for love or a soul mate and look at it from purely a relationship-building standpoint, things may seem a little different.
Don’t go into the dating arena looking for ‘the one’. Go in with your eyes wide open and look at it for the building blocks it could be!
1. Companionship:
Dating isn’t just about finding “the one”. It is about having fun, meeting new people, and exploring new interests. Who wants to attend dinner functions as a single? Wouldn’t it be more fun to have someone beside you to laugh at the latest movie you want to see? We all like that open and cozy feeling we get from sharing our life experiences with a member of the opposite sex.
2. Connection:
Connection is a little deeper than companionship, it goes a little deeper. Some people talk about that “instant connection” and that is great but this can also form over time. Whether it happens instantly or over a period of time, connection plays an important role in dating. When that chemistry with another a member of the opposite sex happens, it has been proven that our brains buzz with increased activity.
3. It’s YOUR time to shine:
You’ve raised your kids, built up your career, you’ve taken care of others for so long now, you’ve forgotten about yourself. Well, you’re important too! There is nothing wrong with putting your needs in the forefront now. Don’t kid yourself, you have needs; emotional needs. By taking the time to address these yourself, you will be better prepared to express them in a positive manner.
4. Energizing:
Dating is FUN! Or at least, it’s supposed to be. It can be quite invigorating to join in activities. It replenishes our souls to get out there and meet people. Keep an open mind on your dates and you might be surprised by the things you will learn. Got those nervous butterflies in your tummy after a call from your date? GOOD! It’s natural. Why wouldn’t you want to feel all that excitement?
5. Affection:
Ladies, we are the affectionate gender. Not suggesting men aren’t or can’t be, but we are the emotional and sentimental gender. We love to give AND receive. How better to do this than out in the dating world? Not all dates you go on will warrant this behavior but some will. There will be times you experience the warm fuzzies and he doesn’t and vice versa. That shouldn’t scare us away from dating!
6. You’re deserving:
You read that right. YOU deserve happiness in your life! You deserve someone to shower a little attention on you. You deserve a little extra from a man. You deserve to be treated like a queen. Dating can offer you this. It’s not needy or bad to want to feel special, nor should you expect this from a man or dating but a connection with the right man will bring this about naturally. And how will you find the right connection if you’re not out there dating?
7. Socialization:
It’s great to sit and laugh with your girlfriends over wine or dinner. It’s important that you continue those relationships with your friends. It is also important that you take the opportunity to mingle with the opposite sex. They have lots to offers us women. There is a different feel to laughing or enjoying yourself on a date then when you are out with the girls. Something a little magically about socializing on a date.
8. Intimacy:
You had to know this was coming! Let me spell it out for you: SEX. It’s not a bad thing to have desires and want them filled. It’s actually healthy and it is a powerfully moving experience. It’s not just for young people to enjoy! You know your body better at this age. Often women over 50 have a great deal more self-confidence and you’ve released those unrealistic expectations you had in your youth.
While everything has changed from the time you may have first started dating as a young woman, in many ways it hasn’t changed all that much. It is still about getting to know someone on a deeper level.
Communication still plays an important part. But remember you are wiser now and while some things haven’t changed, some things have. Online dating is one prime example. Practice safe dating techniques as outlined on many of the online dating sites.
I encourage you to take your time in exploring the world of dating. We all know that Rome wasn’t built in a day and relationships aren’t either. Be prepared for all kinds of interesting experiences. And please, think of them that way because dating can be nerve-wracking if you let it. But don’t give up. Don’t think of it as an all or nothing game of hearts. Immerse yourself in the experience for what it is. It’s just dating.
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I’m 50 but don’t look or act my age, I decided to join a dating site and had to delete my account because it was depressing!!! All the good looking men age 55-58 want 35-45 year old a only and men who are 65-75 want women my age…it’s very depressing so for now Netflix and date nights with my dog!!!